What's new? Hmm... not a whole lot. I just finished up with a co-ed softball season this week! Ya, our team wasn't exactly what I would call a winning team.. but it was way fun! I'd definately do it again next year if I have a chance. I finally started getting my sound system in my car together! I got the deck in.. now i just gotta get the rest installed. AND hopefully I'll get my anberlin sticker too! Im way excited! Oh, speaking of my car.. I definately could've died yesterday. The past week, my dad noticed that something was leaking from my car. So when he looked at it, he came to the conclusion that my radiator was leaking coolant. So I had planned to get a mechanic to look at it while i was at work yesterday. I called him up and he said that he wouldn't be able to get to it until monday. I happened to get off early that day from work and then when I got home, my dad said that there was a mechanic that he knows that works out of his house that said we could bring it over right then. So we took it over there. Literally RIGHT as i parked my car in his driveway, coolant started pouring all over the cement! So when we looked inside to see where it was leaking from, the housing to the radiator had completely come off. It was still inside the car, but basically just sitting there. If i had driven my car very much longer, it would've definately overheated and who knows how bad that would have been! I pulled into his driveway at the PERFECT time. Any later.. wouldn't have been good! One thing that was retarded and made no sense to me at all.. was that the housing was PLASTIC! WHY would anyone in the right mind make something like that out of plastic.. when it gets hot under the hood.. especially in AZ. Sheesh.. some people! Anyway, the mechanic told us that we could go buy the part for it and then he would put it in for us. So.. $65 later.. we brought it back over and he put it in for us for $30 bucks! Not too bad.. or so I would think? Now my car is running normal. But that definately could've had a bad outcome. I guess I'm suppose to be alive for something!
So recently.. I've come to the realization that I'm misunderstood way too often by probably 98% of people I care about. I never realised it up until this point. I mean, there are always going to be disagreements and people may not understand why you support or believe a certain thing, but honestly.. i never realised how much people don't understand me. That probably sounds just like any other teenager out there, but I'm serious! Like even a lot of people that i'm close to dont understand me. As time goes on, it just becomes more and more clear. I think there are probably less than five people who actually understand me and agree with me on most things. Everyone's different and nobody is going to agree with you 100% percent of the time, but it seems like more times than not.. I'm misunderstood.
I don't know, maybe I just have more growing up to do in that area of my life.. but I'm me and that's not going to change. I'm far from perfect.. and I don't try to be perfect. But, sometimes I wonder if it's me or everyone else. I have these moments where I just shut everyone out. I don't know if there is anything that ever triggers it.. or if it's just a mood that I get in. I HATE it. At those times.. I become so uncomfortable with being myself around people that aren't familliar to me. I don't know how to fix it and make it so that doesn't happen. Another thing.. through all the trials that I have been through in my life.. I always expect the worst out of anything and everyone. The moment when I let my guard down.. something or someone just proves to me that I shouldn't have expected it to go like I would like it to. So ya, I'm a very very VERY big pessimist. I guess thats just WHAT HAPPENS. When I look back, I wouldn't take back ANYTHING that has happened to me. None of the crap people have given me.. put me through.. and most definately wouldn't take back the happy memories. There is so much that I've gained through those hard times and so much I've taught myself and others. I think I'm most close to the people who have hurt me the most. I feel the most comfortable around them too.. why? I have NO idea. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. It's like.. here, here's someone who lost your trust.. be yourself and let your walls down so they can hurt you some more! Haha I mean.. I can't think of a time when that has happened.. but it seems like that should happen.. right?
Anyway.. until next time..
So recently.. I've come to the realization that I'm misunderstood way too often by probably 98% of people I care about. I never realised it up until this point. I mean, there are always going to be disagreements and people may not understand why you support or believe a certain thing, but honestly.. i never realised how much people don't understand me. That probably sounds just like any other teenager out there, but I'm serious! Like even a lot of people that i'm close to dont understand me. As time goes on, it just becomes more and more clear. I think there are probably less than five people who actually understand me and agree with me on most things. Everyone's different and nobody is going to agree with you 100% percent of the time, but it seems like more times than not.. I'm misunderstood.
I don't know, maybe I just have more growing up to do in that area of my life.. but I'm me and that's not going to change. I'm far from perfect.. and I don't try to be perfect. But, sometimes I wonder if it's me or everyone else. I have these moments where I just shut everyone out. I don't know if there is anything that ever triggers it.. or if it's just a mood that I get in. I HATE it. At those times.. I become so uncomfortable with being myself around people that aren't familliar to me. I don't know how to fix it and make it so that doesn't happen. Another thing.. through all the trials that I have been through in my life.. I always expect the worst out of anything and everyone. The moment when I let my guard down.. something or someone just proves to me that I shouldn't have expected it to go like I would like it to. So ya, I'm a very very VERY big pessimist. I guess thats just WHAT HAPPENS. When I look back, I wouldn't take back ANYTHING that has happened to me. None of the crap people have given me.. put me through.. and most definately wouldn't take back the happy memories. There is so much that I've gained through those hard times and so much I've taught myself and others. I think I'm most close to the people who have hurt me the most. I feel the most comfortable around them too.. why? I have NO idea. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. It's like.. here, here's someone who lost your trust.. be yourself and let your walls down so they can hurt you some more! Haha I mean.. I can't think of a time when that has happened.. but it seems like that should happen.. right?
Anyway.. until next time..
